Raising a Renaissance Child

An antidote to sheltered parenting.

Parenting is tough, and requires managing a complex and ever-evolving state of dynamics to provide a child with the proper environment to thrive in. It requires a balance of structure with space to explore, fostering independence and encouraging mistakes while providing support. It means coaching a child on how to learn from mistakes, not shielding them from any possible pitfalls. One of the most important facets of a child’s development is their sense of confidence — and that confidence arises both from their identity as a person of intrinsic value, and from their sense of capability when engaging with the world.

Too often, I see parenting that is either obsessively protective or flippantly dismissive. They either hover around their child and curate every moment so the child never experiences disappointment, or they give their child an iPad and check out from parenting completely. Both bubble wrap parents and iPad parents are depriving their child of an environment where they can flourish.

Instead, I urge parents to explore a new way — really, an old way — of raising a child. Provide the child with a diverse array of experiences, and give the child room to fail.

I grew up in somewhat of a private cult — that’s a story for another day. But one long-lasting effect from that childhood was reaching adulthood, and not having any familiarity with many normal things. I had never played a round of golf, strapped on skates, or had a conversation with a mentor about online safety. I was not taught about cultural differences, how to sew, or basic first aid.

I have a one year old. I do hover over him somewhat, but not to shield him from every ailment. Instead, I ensure that his environment will allow safe failure. If he is climbing something, I never let him get too high or too far to where he’d even slightly injure himself if he fell. But — and this might be controversial — I look forward to him falling. Falling down is the absolute best time to practice getting up. The alternative is reaching adulthood and having no experience with failure. Setbacks in the adult world hit hard with no safety net.

Upon reflecting on this, I have created a chart.

This chart presents a rubric for providing a child with basic exposure to a diverse range of essential concepts. This chart outlines concept exposure — to be clear, that is not concept mastery, skill development, or depth of engagement. Many of these concepts certainly should become regular elements of a child’s life. Some may only require cursory exposure. Others, the child may take a great interest in and want to explore deeply. At the very least, this guide is simply a reminder to not shelter your child too ferociously.

Provide a range of experiences, make room for mistakes, and help them grow into an adult with confidence.

Click into the image below and zoom in to have a look at the chart. This is the current iteration of a personal rubric for concept exposure. Would you re-order some of these for your kid? Would you add or remove something? Let me know!

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